Discover Your Sweetie’s Personality Style-Part 2

In recognition of Valentine’s Day and the month-long celHIgh iebration of love, I am sharing my take on the four personality styles in the DISC profile to help those of us in relationships better understand our significant others. The more you know about a person, the more you grow in your love. So, let the knowing and growing continue.

Yesterday I wrote about the High D or dominant personality. Today I will explore the High I personality style. High I’s are inspiring, influencing, impressionable, interactive, and involved. These people tend to be fun loving and spontaneous, outgoing and charming. It goes without saying that these people are the life of the party and love being the center of attention. High I’s also like physical activity and excitement. As you are reading this, someone you know has probably popped into your head. We all know someone like this. They’re “people” people. They seem to know everybody and can work a crowd beautifully. This is sooo my BFF. She loves being around people and will get involved in any good cause she can find because she loves to help others. I don’t mind helping people, but she and other High I people take it to a whole other level. It is also interesting to note that High I’s tend to start well, but have difficulty finishing, are noisy, and always on the go. And if they don’t get what they want, they QUIT. Yep, once they’re done, they’re done. My BFF once again. (Sorry BFF if you’re reading this).

Now every personality style has its flaw, so let’s go there, why don’t we? The High I’s blind spot is that they can be impulsive and illogical. Ding, ding, ding! That explains the difficulty finishing, the challenge with volume control, and the constant moving and shaking. Much of these things is done without much thought or reasoning through, which is why I have such a hard time relating. I am the total opposite, as I think EVERYTHING through several times. As for being illogical, the High I can jump to conclusions a bit and throw a fit in the heat of an argument, but if you already know that going in you can anticipate it and hopefully soften the blow. Thank goodness for strategies. Learning the following strategies for the High I has helped me understand my bestie a little better, and it can help you too if you have a High I in your life.

1. Create an environment of fun and excitement. High I’s thrive on fun like a kid thrives on candy. It’s their secret fuel, and they just have to have it. If there is no fun involved, trust me, they are going to make it fun for themselves and they will take others along for the ride. The more people involved the better. Let’s apply this. If you are dating or are married to a High I you may want to keep this in mind when planning dates together. They aren’t going to go for quiet, relaxing evenings at home every weekend. You’ve got to spice it up and go heavy on the fun every once and a while. I know that involves planning and creativity on your part, but seeing your sweetie smile is worth it, right?

2. Help them develop planning and goal setting skills. It is challenging for those with impulsive tendencies to actually get beyond the here and now and plan for the distant future, but they need the reality check too. Let’s be real, fun can only last but so long. The tasks they find boring or pointless are what they have trouble finishing, but those are the things that are necessary. How can you apply this? If your High I has a great idea for a new business opportunity (they probably have a few of these), encourage him or her to sit down and make a plan for success. Help them think through the details and give them an extra push to keep going when the excitement of it all begins to wane.

3. Provide social involvement as incentives. One way to help encourage your High I to finish what they start is to offer incentives in the form of social interaction. Remember they love people, and they love you. Spending quality time together is a plus. This time should include real involvement, not just the two of you being in the same house at the same time. That does not count as social involvement. Go shopping together, cook together, take a walk, or go away for a romantic weekend (I’m talking exclusively to the married folk here)–just make sure to be there for them and be fully present while you’re at it.

4. Recognize their efforts and talents. High I’s love a pat on the back when they’ve worked hard on something. Don’t get me wrong, everyone wants to be recognized for their efforts, but High I’s are on another level with this too. So do praise and do it big for these social butterflies. But don’t worry. If you do forget to recognize them they will let you know it. I’m speaking from experience here. And this is probably a good time right here on the world wide web to go ahead and drop my best friend, Melissa Watson’s name to recognize her for being such a great friend. Thank you, Missy! I love you! You’re the best! See, I practice what I preach. 🙂

If you’re a High I, feel free to let me know if I nailed it or NOT. I welcome comments. In the next post I will discuss the High S personality, so stay tuned.

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Five Pieces of Advice for My Fifteen-Year-Old Self

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Me at fifteen years old

I was listening to the Yolanda Adams morning show the other day, and the topic for the day was “If you could give advice to your 15-year-old self, what would it be?”  My fifteen year-old-self was pretty innocent and naive.  I didn’t get into much trouble, and I made good grades in school. I wasn’t perfect though by a long shot. I made my share of mistakes, and in hindsight would have done some things differently.  After thinking about it some I think I would offer the following pieces of advice to the younger me.

1. You are beautiful no matter how small your curves are compared to other girls. When I was younger I was disappointed by the booty genes I inherited.  I wanted a bigger butt like other girls I knew. Whenever I tried on clothes in a store I would imagine how I’d look if I were a little thicker. Of course my mom would try to reassure me that I was fine just the way I was, but I still felt inadequate.  Over time I realized that there were girls I wanted to look like who actually wanted to look like me.  That taught me that everyone has something that they’d like to change about themselves.  I have also learned to appreciate who God made to be, which is somebody pretty special and well built.

2. If a guy doesn’t want you, you don’t want him either. I spent too much time as a teen pursuing relationships with guys that were one-sided–I was more into them than they were into me. I spent even more time trying to figure out why these particular guys didn’t like me in a romantic way.  What was it about that me that wasn’t good enough?  I thought. Child, please!  The answer to that question is absolutely nothing. Man’s rejection does not determine someone’s worth.  Thankfully, my self-esteem, or should I say my God-esteem, has improved tremendously since then, but I really could have saved myself a lot of time and heartache had I learned this sooner.

3. Learn to save your money.  I definitely would be in a much better place financially if I had learned this concept as a youngster. Financial literacy was just not one of those things that my family discussed, probably because they didn’t have the knowledge either.  My goal is to make sure that changes with the next generation.  I will teach my children the importance of tithing, saving, and managing money wisely so that they can be much better off at a much younger age.

4. Finish what you start.  Dance lessons, piano lessons, track, and an economics class–I quit them all.  I got bored with dance because I wasn’t advancing as fast as I thought I should; I didn’t like the recital aspect of piano nor the practicing that came along with it; my college economics was more difficult to understand than I liked, so I gave up.  Fortunately for me, I’ve developed a more persistent mindset as I’ve aged.  My husband describes it as a bulldog mentality.  Once I decide I want something, I go hard after it until I get it.  But I can only imagine how much more I would have accomplished in my life by now if I thought that way all my life.

5. Spend more time with your grandma, and learn how to make biscuits like her. Everyone loved my grandmother’s homemade biscuits.  I tried making them once and let her taste them. I admit I was kind of feeling myself because they were pretty good for my first try.  My husband joked about there being a new biscuit maker in the family, which was a big mistake.  My grandmother sat up straight and tall in her chair, stretched her eyes wide, and said matter of fact, “I’m the only biscuit maker in this family.”  Maybe she wanted to go to her grave with that title and her secret recipe. Nevertheless, I would have tried even if it meant sneaking a peek while she made them. Now that she’s gone I think it’s a shame that we’ll never taste biscuits quite like hers again.

What would you say to your 15-year-old self based on what you know now?