Ways to Kill the Lonely Bug

Now that you’lonelyve decided to walk away from the dead-end relationship and into the future of freedom that God has destined for you, what will you do with your time to make sure you stay free? It can be very tempting to go back to the bad relationship you got delivered from or to find another one equally as bad when the thought of being alone hits or when the lonely bug bites. The truth is, you’re never alone, but I know it can sure feel like it, especially on a Friday night when you’re all dressed up with no where to go or no one to take you. The key to overcoming those trying times is to develop a strategy for success. As in any situation, if you fail to plan you plan to fail, so here are a few ways to kill that nasty lonely bug and keep it from infesting your life.

1. Volunteer your time and talents at your local church. Effective church work and growth requires many many many people putting their hands to the plow. Your hands are no exception. Tending to God’s business will cause Him to tend to yours, and that’s just what you want in your future relationships–God’s direct involvement. It will also keep you focused on what matters most, which is advancing the kingdom and bringing glory to His name. You will be offering back to Him the gifts that He’s given you and at the same time being a blessing to someone else. Everybody wins: you, your church, and those who are touched by the work you do. How do you win? You win because you get to do something meaningful and rewarding with your time, and you get to focus your attention on something other than the lack of a physical man in your life.

2. Join a gym and get that body into shape. Once you get past the initial pain of beginning a workout regiment, it can become a healthy addiction. It can take up a lot of your time (if you’re consistent, and it’s good for you. Looking good and feeling great are two plusses in the anti-loneliness equation. Plus, all that new confidence that comes with building a better, stronger body will ooze out of your pores. Your future husband will enjoy it too! I’m just sayin’

3. Go back to school or take a class to learn a new skill. If going back to school is something you’ve thought about before, now is the time to do it. Not only will it take your mind off being single with the work involved, it will help to improve you. More knowledge, more pride from an awesome accomplishment, more money in some cases, and more to talk about with any potential dates that may come your way.

I could name so many others like study your Bible, spend quality time with your loved ones, join a service organization or anything that you’ve always wanted to do but never took the time to do because you were busy maintaining a dead-end relationship. The point is, this is your time to be the woman God wants you to be. Become the good thing that your future husband will find and want to marry. Remember that life is not about getting married. Rather, the key to living a good life is living in the will and peace of God. That’s easier to do if you know the will of God and that His peace surpasses all understanding. He wants you to be at peace, no matter what your relationship status is. So while you wait on God to move on your behalf, develop your strategy to successfully navigate your single journey by filling your life with good things, and exterminate those pesky lonely bugs for good.

Based on chapter 7 of “Wait on God: What Every Single Woman Should Know to Receive God’s Best!” To purchase a copy visit http://www.BrianaGWhitaker.com, Amazon.com, or the iBooks store.

Discover Your Sweetie’s Personality Style–Part 3

My mom and I have a veHigh Sry unique relationship. I am her only child, and she has never been married. You can probably imagine the tight bond that the two of us share, and this is where the conflict comes in for us at times. I am and will always be her baby. At the age of 34, being your mama’s baby and pretty much the closest person in her life is a blessing and a challenge at the same time. Sometimes, it’s just hard for her to let go, and I never fully understood that until I learned more about her personality.

What’s ironic is we look just alike, but as far as personalities go, I must have taken that after my dad. My mom is the type of person who is so sweet, but is easily offended. She is friendly and personable, but lacks assertiveness in certain areas. She likes to be appreciated for her work and efforts, but doesn’t like a big fuss about it. People like her fall into the High S personality type. High S’s tend to be creative and imaginative, happiest with family and friends, and sensitive and compassionate. If things don’t go their way the result is hurt feelings. I don’t want to give away the contents of my next post, which holds details of my personality, but I can tell you that while we’re both pretty reserved individuals, we handle things and approach issues totally different and we have different needs.

The secret fuel for the High S is peace and harmony. They like to exist with minimal conflict, which means they don’t like to stir up confusion. Now if they’re involved in someone else’s confusion, they will be affected by it. They’re not very confrontational, so generally only those closest to them will know about it. The down side of their non-confrontational nature is the tendency to be considered a sucker, meaning they can easily be taken advantage of because they’re so nice and shy. Here are some strategies for those of us in relationships with High S’s to both help ourselves and them.

1. Show concern for their feelings and empathize with their problems. All High S’s really need is a listening ear and someone to justify their feelings. Talking about the issues of the day to those closest to them can be therapeutic since they tend to internalize so much. Those of us who fall into that category should be more sensitive to this need by taking the time to actually listen, ask them how their day went, try to refrain from dismissing their feelings (even when you do think they’re overreacting), and try not to offer solutions. A little empathy will go a long way in making the High S feel loved and supported.

2. Help them develop decision making, goal setting, and assertiveness skills. This is so important because if you don’t help them with this, they will really depend on you to help them with a lot of things that you might think should come naturally, like asking questions and talking to people. I’ve had to encourage my mom to do this as a way to advocate for herself. Here’s a word of caution with this though. Encourage them to be more assertive, but make sure you do it in a loving, “I’m on your side” kind of way. If you come off too harshly or sounding critical, they will shut down. The next strategy explains why.

3. Remember that criticism is taken personally, even when unintended. You could have the best, most harmless intentions when attempting to help the High S with decision making, goal setting, and assertiveness, but it may not be received as such. Adjusting your tone of voice and coming at it from a different angle may help. The term “sugar coat” is a good way to describe this technique. High S’s are more likely to be drawn with honey than with vinegar (the cold hard truth). Make no mistake about it. The truth should still be shared with them. I’m just suggesting that the truth will be better received if spoken in love and consideration of their feelings.

4. Appreciate their work and efforts. Like High I’s, High S’s like for others to acknowledge and appreciate what they do. The difference is they prefer for it to be done in private without all the hoopla that High I’s enjoy. When considering a gift for them, a nice meaningful card or other heartfelt token of appreciation that actually tells them what you appreciate about them is a good idea. For my mom, simply telling her that you enjoy her cooking puts a smile on her face. Another good idea is to relieve them of a household chore that they normally do and acknowledge that you’re giving them a break because you noticed how hard they’ve been working. It doesn’t take much, but please indulge them on this if you want to show them some love.

If you are a High S feel free to leave a comment to let me know if I’ve nailed it or NOT. I welcome your feedback. Stay tuned for the next post on the High C, which is my personality style. 🙂

Discover Your Sweetie’s Personality Style-Part 2

In recognition of Valentine’s Day and the month-long celHIgh iebration of love, I am sharing my take on the four personality styles in the DISC profile to help those of us in relationships better understand our significant others. The more you know about a person, the more you grow in your love. So, let the knowing and growing continue.

Yesterday I wrote about the High D or dominant personality. Today I will explore the High I personality style. High I’s are inspiring, influencing, impressionable, interactive, and involved. These people tend to be fun loving and spontaneous, outgoing and charming. It goes without saying that these people are the life of the party and love being the center of attention. High I’s also like physical activity and excitement. As you are reading this, someone you know has probably popped into your head. We all know someone like this. They’re “people” people. They seem to know everybody and can work a crowd beautifully. This is sooo my BFF. She loves being around people and will get involved in any good cause she can find because she loves to help others. I don’t mind helping people, but she and other High I people take it to a whole other level. It is also interesting to note that High I’s tend to start well, but have difficulty finishing, are noisy, and always on the go. And if they don’t get what they want, they QUIT. Yep, once they’re done, they’re done. My BFF once again. (Sorry BFF if you’re reading this).

Now every personality style has its flaw, so let’s go there, why don’t we? The High I’s blind spot is that they can be impulsive and illogical. Ding, ding, ding! That explains the difficulty finishing, the challenge with volume control, and the constant moving and shaking. Much of these things is done without much thought or reasoning through, which is why I have such a hard time relating. I am the total opposite, as I think EVERYTHING through several times. As for being illogical, the High I can jump to conclusions a bit and throw a fit in the heat of an argument, but if you already know that going in you can anticipate it and hopefully soften the blow. Thank goodness for strategies. Learning the following strategies for the High I has helped me understand my bestie a little better, and it can help you too if you have a High I in your life.

1. Create an environment of fun and excitement. High I’s thrive on fun like a kid thrives on candy. It’s their secret fuel, and they just have to have it. If there is no fun involved, trust me, they are going to make it fun for themselves and they will take others along for the ride. The more people involved the better. Let’s apply this. If you are dating or are married to a High I you may want to keep this in mind when planning dates together. They aren’t going to go for quiet, relaxing evenings at home every weekend. You’ve got to spice it up and go heavy on the fun every once and a while. I know that involves planning and creativity on your part, but seeing your sweetie smile is worth it, right?

2. Help them develop planning and goal setting skills. It is challenging for those with impulsive tendencies to actually get beyond the here and now and plan for the distant future, but they need the reality check too. Let’s be real, fun can only last but so long. The tasks they find boring or pointless are what they have trouble finishing, but those are the things that are necessary. How can you apply this? If your High I has a great idea for a new business opportunity (they probably have a few of these), encourage him or her to sit down and make a plan for success. Help them think through the details and give them an extra push to keep going when the excitement of it all begins to wane.

3. Provide social involvement as incentives. One way to help encourage your High I to finish what they start is to offer incentives in the form of social interaction. Remember they love people, and they love you. Spending quality time together is a plus. This time should include real involvement, not just the two of you being in the same house at the same time. That does not count as social involvement. Go shopping together, cook together, take a walk, or go away for a romantic weekend (I’m talking exclusively to the married folk here)–just make sure to be there for them and be fully present while you’re at it.

4. Recognize their efforts and talents. High I’s love a pat on the back when they’ve worked hard on something. Don’t get me wrong, everyone wants to be recognized for their efforts, but High I’s are on another level with this too. So do praise and do it big for these social butterflies. But don’t worry. If you do forget to recognize them they will let you know it. I’m speaking from experience here. And this is probably a good time right here on the world wide web to go ahead and drop my best friend, Melissa Watson’s name to recognize her for being such a great friend. Thank you, Missy! I love you! You’re the best! See, I practice what I preach. 🙂

If you’re a High I, feel free to let me know if I nailed it or NOT. I welcome comments. In the next post I will discuss the High S personality, so stay tuned.

Discover Your Sweetie’s Personality Style

high dMy husband and I get along great. We rarely argue and we laugh a lot together, but there are times when I just don’t get him. Truth be told, there are times when he does things that drive me absolutely nuts, and I oftentimes return the favor. For example, I don’t get why he jokes around so much when I’m being serious, and he doesn’t get why I ask him the same questions over and over again until I get a satisfactory answer. Talk about things that make you go hmmm… Well now I have an idea why, and it involves our differing personalities.

Recently I had a very eye opening experience at a professional conference that gave me a better understanding on not only my husband, but also on some other very important people in my life (ie. mother and best friend.) I learned what makes them tick. You might be saying that this is something I should already know, having been around them for years, but sometimes the tendencies of others near and dear to us have a way of remaining a mystery after years of time spent together and eluding even the most perceptive of people. The light bulb clicked on for me when I learned the four personality styles according to the DISC profile–a personal assessment tool used to improve work productivity, teamwork, and communication. And since February is the time set aside to celebrate love and relationships, I thought I’d share them in these next series of posts to help you better relate with your mate or anybody else with whom you just can’t seem to communicate.

The first personality style is the High D personality, which I will refer to as simply the High D. This person is dominant, direct, demanding, decisive, determined, and a doer. The High D tends to be high in energy, busy and productive, strong-willed and persistent. Basically, these people take charge, and if they don’t get what they want they get mad. Their blind spot, or personality flaw is that they can be quite bossy (as if you couldn’t tell). Know anybody like this? I sure do, and since I am the total opposite of this, I found myself wondering why the High D in my life was this way. You may be wondering this also, but here are a few strategies to help you deal with the High D in your life.

1. Remain cool and calm and avoid power struggles. This may be difficult to do (especially if you’re a High D yourself), but trust me, going at it tit for tat will not work out in your favor with this one. It would be to your advantage to try an alternate route to get your point across like agreeing to disagree or restating your point to sound less confrontational.

2. Be consistent and fair. The key word is consistency. If you’re not consistent with them or fail to keep your word, prepare to be dismissed. Now that I think about it, I’ve heard my High D person complain about the inconsistent folk in her life on several occasions. I guess because they’re so consistent themselves, it’s kind of difficult to deal with those who aren’t.

3. Be direct and to the point. Don’t go beating around the bush with them. They won’t waste time beating around the bush with you. If you have something to say, say it. They are too dominant to be intimidated by your opinion. They might actually appreciate your use of backbone.

4. Remember that their secret fuel is getting results. Score! If you can keep this in mind, it will make your life and relationship much easier. All the High D wants to know is that results are being achieved and progress is being made. Do that and they’re happy. Don’t do that and they’re pissed, to put it nicely. 😉

Now I don’t want anyone thinking that I am dissing the High D’s out there. I actually admire some of these character traits and wish I had more of them myself like the ability to be more direct and decisive. (If you’ve ever gone to a restaurant with me you’d know why). It’s also very cool that High D’s make great leaders who lead from the front. Having said that, here’s a word of caution for men who are married to High D women: you are still the man of the house who is responsible for leading the family. Deep down inside, your woman wants you to take charge. Again, it is very important to her that she see the results of your leadership. If she doesn’t see any results, she very well may try to take over. I’m not saying that she should take over, I’m just saying that her personality may cause her to try to in the absence of a stronger leader. If you’re a High D woman married to a non-High D man, realize that your man may resent your bossiness and make the necessary adjustments to get the love you want and still show love and respect to him in return.

If your personality type is High D, feel free to let me know if I’ve nailed it or not. I welcome your feedback. Tomorrow I will share the High I personality with you, so stay tuned.

3 Reasons Women Like to Be in Control

I like to be in conwoman-in-controltrol just as much as the next woman. Blame it on my upbringing. I grew up an only child and always liked having my way. Or blame it on the fact that I married in my 30’s after doing things my way for so long. Blame it on my unregenerated flesh that fights every day to have its way. No matter what is to blame though, I have to admit that trying to be in control in my relationship has put me in uncomfortable positions a few times because well, that’s not my position according to God’s plan for marriage.

I know, I know. Not everyone agrees that a woman should submit to her husband. Besides, we have the ability and intelligence to make our own decisions. But I have to qualify any further comments by saying that the guidelines by which I order my life (the Word of God) say otherwise.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians. 5:22

In my almost four year marriage I’ve learned that the need for control is counterproductive to my relationship. I don’t know about you, but I need my marriage to be productive in every way, which is why I’m willing to work on me and allow the Holy Spirit to do His thing in my life. Here are the reasons I think women (myself included) like to be in control and why we should let that attitude go in our marriages.

1. We believe that if we want something done right we’ve got to do it ourselves. Sometimes women lack confidence in others, especially when their track record has proven to be sub-par. I’ve seen many powerful and influential women who instead of delegating responsibility to others in a task, will take on all of the responsibility themselves or micromanage the entire process to ensure that it’s done the right way–or their way. I’m guilty of this too. In my ten years of being in a leadership position in my church I’ve discovered the error of my ways. Hoarding all the responsibility is a sign of distrust. We are saying, although unintentionally, that “I don’t trust that you will get the job done correctly, so I will do it instead.” Well, my sister, in a relationship, that can communicate a message that you may not want to communicate:  “I don’t need you.” A man needs to feel needed or he will search for a place where he is needed and valued. I ask you, if you never give your man an opportunity to rise to the occasion and be the leader he has been called to be in your home, how can you not expect him to fall into mediocrity? If you do his job because you think he is doing it incorrectly, what is he supposed to do? My guess is that the both of you will begin to resent the other. To combat this we need to raise our expectations.

This makes me think about the teaching profession. According to educational theory, a teacher’s high expectations for students increases achievement. On the other hand a teacher’s low expectations decreases achievement. I believe the same is true with men. If you raise your expectations for your husband to be the leader of your family, he will work hard to fill that role. However, if you have low expectations and always do everything for him or tell him what to think and what to do all the time, he will never take the initiative to think or act for himself. What’s the point, if you always shut him down? Will he do everything perfectly? No. But neither do you. Allow him to lead and even make mistakes in the process. He will learn what to do differently the next time. I am not saying that we as wives don’t have a voice in our marriage because we most certainly do. But again, there is a right and a wrong way to handle these situations. Here’s what Candace Cameron Bure has to say about the issue.

“My husband is not a dictator. We work together but I don’t want to dig my heels in and I have no aspirations to be the ruler of my family. We are two equal people but I love my husband and I want him to lead. With big picture issues such as where we live or what schools the kids attend, if he feels strongly about something and I think our family would benefit from it, I am going to share my thoughts. But ultimately, I trust that my husband has our family’s best interests at heart, so I wouldn’t fight him on that. And when I feel strongly about something, he agrees with me. It goes both ways.”

2. We are convinced that we are right and our ideas are the best. It is true that men and women think differently, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. So what if he drives a mile further than you would have if you were driving? The important thing is arriving at your destination, right? Don’t get me wrong sometimes our ideas really are good ideas, but that doesn’t mean that your ideas are the only ideas or your way is the only way. And get this, your right way may be the wrong thing to do at that particular time. Sometimes we just have to bite our tongues and wait it out for a more appropriate time to express our grand ideas and opinions. But I find that to be true in situations outside the home too. You wouldn’t challenge your boss about a new initiative as he or she is presenting it to the company, would you? Depending on the type of boss you have, he or she may not take too kindly to insubordination. Your boss might appreciate you giving your helpful feedback in a less challenging way, like in private and given as a suggestion not a mandate. Even if your boss chooses not to accept your ideas at this time, they have been heard. And as the leader he or she knows in which direction the company should go. Should the bosses ideas turn out to be a wash, you don’t have to worry because you are not the one being held accountable for the success or failure of the project. It takes a load of pressure off of me to know that as the wife, God is not holding me accountable to lead my family. That responsibility belongs to my husband. What He is holding me accountable for is to help my family get where we need to go under my husband’s leadership.

3. We are used to being independent and in control. That I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T spirit has run rampant among the female population. At 25 years of age I bought my first house. I owned my own car, and I had job to support myself financially. I didn’t need a man to do those things for me. But that was then and this is now, and nobody forced me down that aisle. I went willingly. So now that I am married I do need and depend on my husband because we are ONE! That is God’s design for marriage. Two people coming together as one. How can we be one if we are divided against each other? If we can’t let down our guards and be vulnerable with our own husbands who can we be vulnerable with? An inability or unwillingness to be vulnerable with your spouse may be a symptom of a deeper issue. But I digress. Independence has no place in a marriage relationship. If it’s independence you want, then stay single. When you are married, your life is not your own anymore. It is shared with another, and every decision you make affects the entire family. If you think about it, when you are saved, your life is not your own anymore. You then belong to God, and every decision you make should be made with His approval first and affects others. As I state in my book “Wait on God” …marriage is just an extension of our relationship with Him.

4. We can be too daggum bossy. I really meant to stop at three reasons, but I just had to throw this one in. Assertiveness in a woman can be a good quality. It can also be a really destructive quality, especially when it means pushing an issue too far with your husband in an effort to be in control and prove how right you think you are. That is a recipe for disaster, disfunction, dis-ease, and displeasure. As children of God, we are called to be preservers of peace and not confusion.

“Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.” Psalms 34:14

“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18

Instead of pursuing to be in control in your home, pursue to live in peace with your man. If you insist on standing your ground in your home this may happen. To the outside world you look like a woman in control–getting attention for your clever arguments and ideas, putting everybody in their place with lots of don’t-mess-with-me attitude–but inside you are an emotional wreck. And giving out orders to be in control is not worth falling out with your husband or worst, ending up divorced. Life may not be perfect, but your peace through Christ can be.

I want to challenge you to join me in learning to relinquish control and think about these things the next time you are faced with the decision to follow your husband’s lead or your own.

 

 

 

 

Members of Christ’s Nation

Christ jerseyMy husband is a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan. He is so enthused about this team that anytime he sees someone else, stranger included, wearing Cowboys apparel he has to have a conversation with them about the team’s status. Actually, to my husband there is no such thing as a stranger in the Cowboy “nation”. And in the body of Christ or Christ’s “nation” there should be no such thing as a stranger either.

Ephesians 2:11-13 says this…

11 Wherefore remember, that ye being in time past Gentiles in the flesh, who are called Uncircumcision by that which is called the Circumcision in the flesh made by hands;

12 That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world:

13 But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.

It is always a blessing to me when I find someone outside of my normal circle of family and friends who loves God and is not ashamed to talk about Him. I found one such person on my job a few weeks ago. I was in my office one morning when this particular co-worker came by to clean my room. I knew that he was a Christian, but I didn’t know the magnitude of his relationship with Christ until he began to share his love for God’s Word and his desire to please God and be in His will. I too shared some things with him that I had recently studied in the Bible, and in this brief conversation I was encouraged. I was encouraged to know that there was another person in the building with a genuine connection to the Father that we both share. I was encouraged to know that if needed, I had a brother in Christ who could pray for me and give me an uplifting word.

And that’s how it should be. We should be willing to share the good things that Christ has done in our lives to continue building one another up. Far too many Christians tear their brothers and sisters down with lies, jealousy, backbiting, and other ungodly behaviors. Those things should not be named among us. Instead we should allow the peace, love, and joy of the Lord to radiate between us. Believe it or not, how we treat interact with one another, whether positively or negatively, says much about our condition as a family and can impact others’ decision to become a part of it. If we don’t encourage one another who will? If we don’t boast about the Good News of Christ, who will? If we don’t band together in favor of our Savior, who will? So let the members of Christ’s nation be the beacon of light that we are supposed to be so that we can compel those who remain strangers of the covenant of promise to join our team.

When Marriage Trumps Shopping

I love to shop. Even mIMG_0045ore than that I love to find killer outfits for a bargain. With all the options and my extreme indecisive nature, my search for THE perfect dress at THE perfect price for my launch party has been a challenge. But this post is not so much about the dress as it is about what occurred today as I was on the hunt for it.

I decided to travel about an hour away from home to look for a dress today at my favorite discount department store–Ross. Mind you, I had already purchased a dress last week from a different Ross that was nice, but I didn’t quite get the feeling that it was THE ONE, so the search continued. I perused the racks for all of the viable options (I found about eight) and headed to the dressing room. One after one I tried them on. Not all of them were in the running for launch party dress, but they were on sale so the shopaholic in me couldn’t resist giving them a try.

Then the indecisive me kicked in. I narrowed it down to two possibilities, but couldn’t decide which one said what I wanted it to say. I’m sure the women out there understand what I mean when I say my clothes should talk. They should speak to me and to everyone who sees me in them. The way I know that a dress is perfect for me is if it says “Girl, you look good! Buy me!” What it should say to others depends on the occasion and the look I’m trying to achieve. For my launch party I’m going for classy sexy, you know something that screams “sophisticated author” . Since I couldn’t interpret the language of these particular selections, I asked someone else’s opinion, which is not unusual for me. The salesperson seemed friendly and accommodating enough so I modeled for her. I walked out in the first dress, which was a red lacy sheath dress.

“Ok. Turn around and let me see the back,” the salesperson said emotionless.

I turned around in a circle to let her take in the entire look, pausing to get some indication of her opinion.

“Next,” she said.

Obviously that one was either too quiet or mute.

“How about this one?” I asked as I came out in my other choice, a red and black A-line dress with a satin bottom.

“Now that is the one!” she said. There was the emotion and enthusiasm. “It fits perfectly and looks very classy,” she went on–and on. It was equally obvious that this was speaking her language.  I can admit that it did say part of what I wanted it to say, which is classy, but the sexy part was still lacking in my opinion.

At that point I went on and bought the second dress anyway since it got such rave reviews from the salesperson and a few onlookers, but I wasn’t completely sold. As I was leaving the store a thought popped into my head. Maybe I can go back to the other Ross and find something better.  Surely they’ve gotten in a new shipment of dresses since the last time I was there. Not knowing how to get there from this location, I consulted Siri. The distance was 74 miles and would take 1 hour and 45 minutes. Yikes! I was already out later than I had originally planned, and I told my husband that I would be back home shortly. Besides, he wouldn’t quite understand my need to keep searching for the perfect dress, especially if it meant traveling a much further distance and being gone all day. Then for a split second I missed my single life.        

You see, if I was still single I would have taken that trip with no reservations. I’d drive that nearly two hours with no guarantee of finding the coveted perfect dress and think about it later. But since I’m married I have to think about things from a married woman’s perspective. My husband would not like it very much if I came home after dark with yet another dress without considering him, and honestly speaking I wouldn’t like it if he did something without considering me. The shopaholic in me tried to justify my desire to keep looking by saying I could just pick up dinner on the way home, but the wife in me knew better. Then the Holy Spirit reminded me of my responsibility as a wife. It’s not all about me anymore. My responsibility is now to another, and that’s alright with me. It’s the life I chose and it is a blessing to me just as being single is to the single woman.The blessing for me is being married keeps me grounded. More specifically, being married to my husband keeps me grounded and rational when I’m sometimes irrational. So I drove past the exit to the other store and headed home to my husband. The funny thing is, I received a text from my husband on my way back asking me to bring home dinner and peach tea. I knew it was the Holy Spirit who advised me to go home, and I’m glad I listened. Besides, Ross will be there tomorrow. 🙂

***Look for future blog posts on http://www.BrianaGWhitaker.com.

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