How Long is Too Long to Date? Part 4

242687-engagement-ringTo wrap up this conversation on appropriate dating timelines for Christians, I thought I’d make myth # 4 an addendum to myth # 1.  This one also has to do with finances, but I thought it was good enough to stand alone.

Myth # 4:  I’m saving up for the perfect ring (the expensive diamond she wants.)

I know that we live in a materialistic society and that every woman wants to rock some “bling” on her hand, but I hardly believe that a Christian woman would withhold that same hand in marriage simply because her man didn’t propose with the ring of her dreams, unless of course she’s just that superficial. No disrespect ladies, but we can place more emphasis on this aspect than we should, especially when we start comparing with what other women have. That’s your man and it will be your marriage. Trying to live like the Jones’ can have you living like the Evans’ instead.

“Keepin’ your head above water,
Making a wave when you can.
Temporary lay offs. – Good Times.
Easy credit rip offs. – Good Times.
Scratchin’ and surviving. – Good Times.
Hangin in a chow line – Good Times.
Ain’t we lucky we got ’em – Good Times.”

I don’t think the ring is worth that.

Remember, a ring is just a symbol of the unbroken covenant between two people.  The amount of carets in it does not add to or take away from that covenant nor the love that two people share.  There are countless celebrities and non-celebrities who have diamonds for days on their fingers, but only stay married for a minute.  In that case, the ring didn’t mean a thing.  Fellas, if you can afford a fabulous ring for your sweetie, then great! But, if you can’t afford it or see that the thousands of dollars can be better spent elsewhere on your new life together (such as a house) then that’s great too. I don’t think that she will fault you for being fiscally responsible.  (I don’t think.)  By no means am I saying you should be cheap or that there should be no effort put into this special occasion, but I also don’t think that it is a good excuse to postpone a wedding.  Besides, the rest of your lives is plenty of time to make up for it in the form of a diamond upgrade.  My husband already knows that I expect one in a few years. 🙂

So, I still haven’t figured out how long is too long to date someone before marrying them.  Truthfully, every couple is different.  Hopefully though, I have at least taken away a few excuses that might prolong the time for some.


Are there others that I haven’t considered?  Please share.


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