How Long is Too Long to Date? Part 2

commitment-phobiaGood day, folks!  Let’s continue with this conversation on how long a Christian should date a person before getting married.  Yesterday I shared the first myth that prevents some couples from tying the knot sooner rather than later or sometimes never.  Today I will share the second.

Myth # 2:  I can’t be with the same man/woman for the rest of my  life.

This sounds like a fear of commitment, and you did not inherit that trait from your Heavenly Father.  He (father, son, and holy ghost) is the perfect example of true commitment.  He is so committed to you that He gave His only son to die for you so that you could be saved.  He is so committed to you that He loves you through everything–the good, the bad, and the ugly.  He is even so committed to you that he promised to never leave you nor forsake you.  That’s commitment at its finest. On top of that, He’s not given you the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

But I do know who the commitment phobia is coming from.  Satan.  He is the one who couldn’t be committed to righteousness since the beginning and the one who introduced that ungodly mindset to the world for the purpose of getting others to join him. The reason he got kicked out of heaven was because his pride got the best of him.  He turned against God, and refused to follow. That’s commitment at its worst. Then he showed up in the Garden of Eden to test Adam and Eve’s commitment to God, and unfortunately his trickery worked.  They failed the commitment test because of Satan’s lies.  Even today, he’s deceiving believers of Christ to think that it’s too hard or not worth it to commit their lives to God when there are so many others things they could be doing to satisfy the cravings of the flesh.  Beloved, do not be fooled by Satan’s gimmicks and do not join his bandwagon by believing that you can’t commit to one spouse until death do you part.  You can do all things through Christ who gives you the strength you need (Philippians 4:13).  You can live holy and be satisfied with one person in every way.  Jesus Christ and His grace make it possible to do. You may have been hesitant to make a commitment to live for Christ before you got saved because of a fear of failure, but now that you are saved do you regret it? Do you feel as if eternity is too long a time to commit to Him?  If you know anything about Him, I’m quite sure you want to be in this relationship for the long haul because it is so good.

And so is marriage.  Everything God made is good.  We just have to maintain it in order to continue enjoying the blessings of it. Of course a marriage relationship (heck, any relationship) can get stale if you allow it to.  So if you are worried that the flame will die down with time, be aware that it is your responsibility to add more wood to the fire; to put more coals on the grill; to put more kerosene in the heater (you see where I’m going with this).  If you are worried that somehow you will not be able to keep your marriage vows past the seven year itch, be aware that help is available to you if you would only ask.

“We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality.  He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all–all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help” (Hebrews 4:15-16 Message).  


What are your thoughts?  Feel free to offer more myths about marriage that need debunking (I love that word.)  And be on the lookout for myth # 3 in tomorrow’s post.

***For more tips on keeping things spicy in your marriage check out


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