Kardashian Kraziness

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

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On Christmas Eve I  spent a relaxing evening at home with my husband watching episode after episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”  I am not a fan of the infamous family, but I really wanted to find out what led to the demise of Kim and Kris’ marriage.   I found out about their split while standing in the checkout line of BI-LO one day, and the topic intrigued me.    Just a few weeks earlier I read about their lavish wedding in another magazine.  And now this?  Was it really a hoax?  What could have possibly happened to them?  Surely Kim is not in need of his money; him being new to the basketball league and her being on the cover of countless magazines.  Surely she is not desperate for a man; her having been on the arm of countless men.  As I sat through the marathon of shows, I was determined to find out the missing pieces.

The discovery didn’t take long.  On one episode the two argued about whether or not he would live with her and her sister’s boyfriend and child in New York or live in his hometown of Minnesota where he could focus on his career without distractions.  Quite naturally, after telling Kris that she didn’t mind living thousands of miles apart, she changed her mind.  Suddenly it seemed weird to her that a newly wed couple live in separate states.  Duh!  Any idiot could have told her that.  On another episode the topic of having children came up.  The very words “I’m thinking about getting off birth control because I want to have a baby,” made Kris’ eyes bug and his neck snap back in surprise as if the concept of reproducing was foreign to him.  Seriously, dude?  Did you not think this would come up, eventually?

I now knew the problem.  The quirky couple failed to do D on my WAIT ON GOD list–devote time to deep conversation; probably because they were too busy failing to do A on the list–abstaining from fleshly lusts.  Prime example of clouded judgment and shallow conversation.  All of these arguments (or heated debates) should have taken place BEFORE saying I do to avoid the international embarrassment (I almost forgot for a minute that they get paid for such tomfoolery).  I call this…Epic.Failure.

My husband joked with me saying, “When did we talk about these things…the first date?”  While it wasn’t exactly that soon into the relationship, it was definitely well before the wedding and well before the engagement.  We went in knowing where we’d live and if we were going to have children.  This pre-planning was part of our compatibility test.  A test that Kim and Kris obviously failed.  Well, hopefully the two have learned from their mistakes and won’t repeat them in the next series of relationships.  Maybe, just maybe, Kim will get a chance to read “Wait on God” before she thinks about spending billions on her next wedding.  I’m not judging.  I’m just sayin’.

By Briana Whitaker


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