Wait on God

whitakersIn April of 2011 at the age of 30, I married the man of my dreams.  After all the years of waiting and wishing, hoping and praying, God sent my prince.  And what’s ironic about our love story is that during all the years of waiting and wishing, hoping and praying, he (my husband) had been there all along.  I was just too blind to see it.  For years we had shared a church; we had heard the same sermons and shared the same beliefs, but we were totally oblivious to the possibility of being with each other.  All the time I wondered, where is my future husband and when will we meet?  Yeah, sure I dated “unsuccessfully” for quite some time, not even realizing the blessing that was right under my nose, or more appropriately, a few pews over, waiting to be revealed by God and acknowledged by me.

I was one who worried that God, with His sense of humor, would send me someone who I would least expect as my mate. “Please Lord, don’t let it be someone I’m not attracted to,” I would beg.  I wanted him to be good-looking, saved, and a member of my church–a BMW–Black Man Worshiping.  Well, I got all that and more in my husband, Russell.

What I’ve learned from my experience is that blindness is not just the inability to see, it’s the inability to see clearly and with sound judgment as one should.  Let me explain.  Sometimes when looking too hard for anything, one never sees it staring them right in the face–right where it should be or where it was left.  I recently misplaced my digital camera battery charger.  I searched and searched everywhere I thought it would be, but to no avail.  Finally, I decided to just buy another one to replace it since I would be needing my camera in the near future.  I quickly changed my mind though when I found out how much a replacement would cost.   Not wanting to spend the money myself, I asked my husband to buy it for me as a Christmas gift.  A few days before Christmas I decided to tidy up my room a bit.  I threw away junk mail and all sorts of other clutter invading my space.  After about an hour of this, I discovered my battery charger right where I had left it and where I had looked for it weeks before.  I couldn’t find it then because it was hidden by accumulating junk.  The same is true in the case of my husband.  Like the battery charger he was right before my eyes; right where God put Him; and where I believed he would be, but he was concealed by my superficial and unrealistic expectations.

The laundry list went on and on…he should be this complexion, have this job, make this amount of money, stand this tall, and be this age.  Not to forget he must be saved and share my same beliefs concerning spiritual matters.  Over the years, however, the former list began to dwindle and the latter became paramount.  It became more important to me that my husband possess certain spiritual qualities like patience, generosity, kindness, gentleness, faith, and love.  If he had all these things then quite naturally all the rest of the physical attributes would follow.  And they did.  While my husband doesn’t earn a six figure salary or drive a fancy car, he makes me very happy and we complement each other quite well both physically and spiritually.

So as the year 2012 heads our way, I want to challenge you to take a step of faith and wait for your mate.  Here are just a few things that I have learned along the way that may help you WAIT ON GOD.

  • W.  Wish others well.  You’ll find that celebrating another couple’s success and genuinely being concerned for their well being will actually do you some good.  Being jealous of other relationships only makes you bitter and unable to see the good that is already in your life.  I’ve learned that the good things I make happen for others, God will make happen for me.
  • A.  Abstain from fleshly lusts.  Although it is a challenge to remain sexually pure these days, it is for your benefit.  When fornication is introduced into your relationship it brings all sorts of unnecessary problems with it, and it clouds your judgment, keeping you from making godly decisions.  You will thank God you waited for your wedding night to experience the joys of intercourse, as He promises in His Word to bless those who keep Word.  I know we did.
  • I.  Involve a spiritual leader.  My pastor played a pivotal role in my relationship from the start.  As a matter of fact, he hooked us up.  Knowing that my pastor, the one I trust to guide me spiritually, approved of my dating choice gave me a peace of mind.  The added bonus was that he pastored Russell too, so his insight proved to be a valuable tool in deciding if we were right for each other.
  • T.  Trim your list.  Stick to what is most important, which is what is in the heart of the man, not what is in his wallet or what is on his back.  While money and attraction are important and have their place within a marriage, they should not be the ultimate deciding factor in choosing a mate.  Money alone will not make a man have integrity, but integrity can bring a fortune into his possession.
  • O.  Open your mind to the possibilities.  Had I remained rigid in my assessment of a good man for me, I would have missed out on my good thing.  My initial hangup with my husband was his age.  I said several times in the past that the 15 years between us was a deal breaker, but now it is a non-issue.  We get along great, as if we were the same age, and the years of experience have only made him a better, more patient man.  Just what I need.
  • N.  Never compromise.  Your values are valuable.  Stick with what you knew was right before you met the man you’re dating.  If church attendance, seed sowing, and abstinence were a priority before you met him, it should remain a priority after you’ve met him.  He needs to see your standards, so he can decide if they are worth meeting.  Lowering them now can lead to him not taking you or your “so called” standards seriously later in the relationship.
  • G.  Get and stay busy.  You should never put your life on hold while waiting on a mate.  The things that make you happy and fulfilled…do.  Your level of service in ministry…increase.  The busier you are about your father’s business, the less time you will have to think about how single you are.  Besides, there are people out there who need you and what you offer to the kingdom.  How selfish it is for us to deny them our gifts because we are so consumed with the desire to be married?
  • O.  Offer praise to God continually.  Thank Him for everything, including your current marital status.  God’s timing is perfect, and He makes no mistakes.  Your thankfulness now will prove you’re more devoted to the Blesser (God) and not the blessing of a mate.
  • D.  Devote time to deep conversation.  Once you’ve found someone who is worthy of time spent dating, ask questions–lots of them.  No question is a dumb one to ask, unless of course they do nothing to help you really get to know the person sitting across the table from you.  Find out what his likes and dislikes are, his goals and dreams, his spiritual convictions…and then pay close attention.  Time will tell if what he says lines up with what he does.  If they don’t then you can make a more informed decision about whether or not any more time needs to be invested in the relationship.

Written by Briana Whitaker

Advertisements

24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. shanna
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 15:31:11

    Great assessment on what it takes to not only have a great relationship, but the importance of sharing your gifts. God knows our heart and he promises to give us the desires of our heart. So we must continue to praise him in advance. Great article Mrs. Whitaker

    Reply

  2. Corlette
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 23:20:36

    I really enjoyed this article. I believe that we face this all the time in the dating scene. That was well put. I enjoyed it. You ministered to me.

    Reply

  3. youngwomaninaction
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 00:59:45

    Thanks, ladies for reading and leaving a comment. I should have been doing this a long time ago, but procrastination plagues me. Maybe I’ll write about that soon. 🙂 I’m glad I can be a blessing.

    Reply

  4. Sheila Phillips
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 01:31:43

    I really enjoyed reading your article ,It was such a Blessing people need to know that it’s very important to see that what people are saying line up to what they are living .Enjoy your time alone it’s not a bad thing ,Be happy with you Sever the LORD with everything that you have and ask GOD to send the man .DON’T you go looking for him .EVERY SINGLE WOMEN NEEDS TO READ YOUR ARTICLE I KNOW IT WILL BLESS THEM .

    Reply

  5. Cynthia
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 02:58:20

    Beautiful!!! Bree thanks for keeping it real. God definitely blesses faithfulness, and you’re a living witness. He has awesome plans for all of us (Jer 29:11).

    Reply

  6. Tina Shaw
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 03:26:00

    This article was amazing and written by an annointed woman of God. It was truly a blessing to my life as I wait for my prince charming. Its confirmation in knowing in me being available… I am more importantly available to my God to be used to his glory. I truly believe every single woman can be encouraged by these words of wisdom as we Wait on God for our mate.

    Reply

  7. youngwomaninaction
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 04:26:20

    Thanks for replying. You are exactly right. We should serve the Lord with everything we’ve got and before we know it, there he’ll be.

    Reply

  8. youngwomaninaction
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 04:27:02

    Thank you all for replying and leaving such encouraging words.

    Reply

  9. Russell Whitaker
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 07:41:33

    I write this with as much pride as love. Reading just reminds me how blessed I am to share my life with you. I am so proud of you, which makes me love you even more. This is a great blog and some terrific writing. Keep up the great work, my strong, beautiful, ebony author (yes that means write the book). I love you and will always have your back. Your adoring husband,
    Russell

    Reply

  10. Brian Roberts
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 14:33:05

    Powerful story

    Reply

  11. jackie
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 14:45:32

    Awesome words of wisdom! With God there are success stories and this story is much better than the Cinderella stories out there. You found your King not just your prince, How much better can you get?

    With God you get the best (a king) and with man you MAY get a (prince). Through you, other young AND more mature women will know that ALL is possible as long as God is first in your life. Psalms 37:4 says it best, “Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Your story is a living example of what happens when you do what God says not society. May God continue to bless you and your husband! You have your Boaz not just Adam!
    oops…this is where I wanted to post my comment!

    Reply

  12. Mary L. King
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 00:49:40

    Mrs. MLK says:
    December 28, 2011 at 7:17pm
    Job well done !
    Very informative for the young, mature,wise, and also the experienced woman in waiting. A strong spiritual guide for her to take a look at her past, present, and work toward securing her future.
    With man this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Luke 19:26
    When given wise instructions obedience profits growth,strength and success.
    Always wait on God.
    God bless you Briana, keep up the good work my daughter.
    Russell’s Mom:)

    Reply

  13. KATRINA STODDARD
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 15:07:33

    I’M WANTING TO BE N A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME & WILLING TO ACCEPT MY KIDS. I HAVE 7 KIDS & THEY ARE MY PRIDE & JOY. I STARTED GOIN CHURCH MORE LATELY & TO UNDERSTAND THA LORD WORD BETTER. BY ME READING THIS PASSAGE IT HAS GIVEN ME HOPE ON ONE DAY BEING WIT A MAN THAT GONNA LOVE ME FOR ME & NOT ABOUT WHAT I CAN DO. I’VE BEEN FEELING SOME KIND OF WAY CAUSE MY BABY FATHER UP & LEFT ME ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO & I WAS FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT AT THIS TIME. IT TOOK A TOLL ON ME BUT I PRAYED TI GOD THAT HE BRING COMFORT & PEACE TO MY LONELY HEART. AND YES HE DID THAT!!! NOW MY BABY FATHER IS ENGAGED TO ANOTHER WOMAN & IT BOTHERS ME BUT STILL I RELY ON HIM. I’M DUE N FEB. & I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE SEEING THIS MAN WHEN I BRING OUR BUNDLE OF JOY INTO THIS WORLD. LONELY & CONFUSED!!!

    Reply

  14. toshia
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 22:16:40

    I really enjoyed the article and the great insight that you gave on relationships.

    Reply

  15. Teesha
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 01:09:23

    Hey Bri! Thanks for sharing. That was a very well-written article. (Side Note: You know I always enjoyed our insightful conversations at USC :)) Each of the points you made were very important and absolutely relevant. I think the point you made for “G” is often overlooked. I had not realized until recently that women sometimes do put their lives on hold while they “wait” for the “right” man to come along when they should be doing just the opposite – focusing on their relationship and commitment to God and just as you stated, doing the things that they love and increasing their service to God. I don’t want to be verbose and take away from your article because you stated everything so plainly and beautifully so I won’t say anything more. Again Bri, thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed the read. Congrats again to you and your husband. Keep me posted on the book so I can support you.

    Reply

  16. LaFarrah Brantley
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 00:09:54

    I love this Briana! Great blog…This is my first time on, but I will continue. I’m sharing this with my single girlfriends.

    Reply

  17. RoShawnda Gooden
    Jul 29, 2012 @ 22:05:35

    Great blog Bri! I absolutely loved this..and you are on point with your comments as well. I pray that your blessings continue to blossom. In addition, this is a tutorial for me.. (smile)

    Reply

  18. webpage
    Nov 07, 2014 @ 21:22:16

    I have to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning
    this blog. I really hope to check out the same high-grade blog posts by you later on as well.
    In truth, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own, personal site now 😉

    Reply

  19. Tai East
    Dec 07, 2014 @ 23:58:22

    This was so beautiful and so encouraging to my heart! I’m super glad to have connected with you. I love your heart for GOD and for people. I’m looking forward to reading more from you! Infinite blessings to you, my wise, sweet, beautiful new friend! 🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: